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| Melbourne from Albert Park |
Given the drama I went through
trying to enter New Zealand, I fully expected to be given the third degree when entering Australia, but I ended up breezing through the airport, not even being required to speak to a real person. I still didn't arrive at my accommodation till past midnight, and given it was a good 6km walk/run to the nearest parkrun the next day, there was no danger of beating any PBs. Still, a hot sweaty mess is a great look.
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| Maribyrnong parkrun. I still have no idea how to pronounce it. |
I spent the rest of the day getting acquainted with my 5 housemates (2 humans, 3 cats). The next day I set off to have a look round Melbourne. I'd booked a cycle tour, and the tour guide was excellent - just the right amount of self-deprecating humour, taking the piss out of you, and interesting stories. Nobody really gives a toss that some building was put together in 1923 by Sir Edwin Whocares. Instead, you want to hear stories about William Buckley ...
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| Fine set of whiskers. His portrait hangs in the library in Melbourne. |
... who was deported from Britain, escaped the penal colony, nearly died trying to survive in the outback, was given up for dead but found to be living with an aboriginal tribe for 30 years (where they mistook him for a dead ancestor), was pardoned, and then worked as an Aboriginal translator. He also lends his name to the phrase "Buckley's Chance" which I was surprised to learn most people have never heard of.
Anyway, the tour took us to all the key areas of Melbourne. I didn't realise how into sport they were in Melbourne, but it hosts a F1 Grand Prix, the Australian Open, the Australian national cricket teams, and of course, the Melbourne Cup (horse racing).
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The F1 circuit is a "street circuit" so is a road for most of the year.
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| The Aussie Grand Prix was taking place the week after, so the place was under construction |
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| Some crazy flats |
We stopped for a lunch in a place called "Naked for Satan", which was rather an odd name for a restaurant. I learned that it used to be the home of a Russian immigrant called Leon Satanovich who distilled moonshine there. Due to the heat, he was nearly naked, and somehow, getting "Naked for Satan" is now a widely-used euphemism in Australia for going to buy booze.
Despite not being a fan of cricket, I visited the Melbourne Cricket Club stadium, a massive venue used for cricket, Aussie rules football, and Ed Bloody Sheeran concerts (which meant I couldn't do the tour at any time other than the day I left).
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Transitioning from cricket to Aussie rules football
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It easily holds over 100,000 spectators, and was also hosted the 1956 Olympics and 2018 Commonwealth Games. One nice touch was showing the best long jump, triple jump, high jump, and pole vault records achieved over the years.
As well as Buckley's portrait, the City Library also had an interesting exhibition about Ned Kelly, Australia's answer to Robin Hood.
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| Ned's homemade armour looked very similar to the armour used in Monty Python and the Holy Grail |
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| The library also had this cracking painting of the winner of the 1865 Melbourne Cup "Toryboy" |
Of course, no visit to Melbourne would be complete without a trip to Pin Oak Court.
If the above doesn't ring a bell, you might know it as Ramsey Street.
For those who still don't have a clue what I'm on about, Neighbours was a soap opera that ran from 1985-2022. Hardly anyone in Australia watched it, but it was incredibly popular in the UK, and launched the careers of Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, Guy Pearce, Chris Hemsworth, and Bouncer the Dog. I hadn't even watched it in 30 years, but I once took a three week sickie from school to watch a particularly gripping storyline (back then, it was only shown at lunchtimes), and missed long division (to this day I've no idea how to do it).
It was strange seeing it in person. It looked a lot smaller in real life, and despite the show ending a year earlier, there was still security guard telling me that I could take photos of the houses but not of the residents.
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| Madge and Harold's old house (now with gates to stop nosy trespassers) |
Only a mile up the road was the old Channel 10 studios, which also doubled as Wentworth Detention Centre in Prisoner Cell Block H (I had a thing for Aussie soaps). Sadly, the grounds were all fenced off and all tours ended with the axing of Neighbours last year, so that was the end of that. Still, it was pleasing to finally see places that I'd seen on the telly 35 years ago.
Next up, Sydney, and more importantly, meeting real life pals from back home!
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